{"id":252,"date":"2022-02-09T21:59:34","date_gmt":"2022-02-10T02:59:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/foxglovesystems.com\/herbheineman\/Stowaway\/?page_id=252"},"modified":"2022-04-07T18:00:11","modified_gmt":"2022-04-07T22:00:11","slug":"twenty","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Stowaway\/twenty\/","title":{"rendered":"TWENTY"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Dressed in his Sunday best, Mike met Al on the steps of the synagogue at nine o\u2019clock on the following Wednesday. A pleasant young man wearing a yarmulke greeted Al and offered his companion a yarmulke and tallith from a box. Al declined, taking the necessary articles from a pouch he was carrying and showing Mike how to wear them. The young man looked on with interest and shook Mike\u2019s hand.<\/p>

\u201cWelcome to Har Sinai. May God be gracious to you on this day and all days.\u201d Mike suspected that the man had recognized him right away as not Jewish and he felt a twinge of discomfort. Nonetheless he bowed slightly and thanked the man before letting himself be led into the sanctuary.<\/p>

He was not prepared for what awaited him. For one thing, the interior was less ornate than any of the churches he had attended in the past. Al, sensing Mike\u2019s bewilderment, whispered to him that they were standing in a converted movie theater. In fact, he explained, a worship service in a private residence was perfectly valid in God\u2019s eyes, especially if there were at least ten adult men participating.<\/p>

The other surprise was the seemingly total lack of discipline. To be sure, the women were segregated in the balcony, but that left the men to attend to men\u2019s business, which was more than atoning for their sins. Technically, separation by gender was a requirement in an orthodox Jewish service; men should not be distracted by the presence of women. But while the officiants at the far end of the sanctuary were reading aloud from their prayer books, they were certainly not holding the attention of most of the congregants. Their voices were all but drowned out by a buzz of conversation coming from various knots of worshipers. Mike tried to focus his attention on the white-clad men around the altar, but he had no idea of what they were chanting. He leafed through a prayer book that had been left on the seat next to him and understood why: all the right-hand pages were printed in Hebrew, which he could not read, and he assumed this to be the language of the service. The English translation was on the left-hand pages. Thereupon he allowed his attention to wander to a group of men two rows in front of him, and made out a reference to the batting average of a Red Sox player.<\/p>

Out in the secular world the World Series was in progress, and none but the most devout worshipers, Jewish or otherwise, escaped the news emanating from one of the two stadiums in which this year\u2019s \u201cworld\u201d champion would be crowned. Mike entertained the thought that the Jewish men at today\u2019s service were regular guys, interested in some of the same things as he was. This came as a pleasant surprise, because indirectly he saw the possibility of regarding Debbie as a regular person. He even fancied himself as joining the conversation, but that would have required an introduction; he preferred to remain anonymous for now.<\/p>

His reverie was interrupted by a change in the proceedings up front: the atonal mumbling had given way to a melodious chant. One of the white-clad officiants drew back an ornate velvet curtain, revealing a tall wall cupboard containing a number of cylindrical objects about half his height, each covered in a velvet dress and a silver necklace. The officiant withdrew one of the cylinders and sang what sounded like a special tune. Another officiant lifted the cover to expose a parchment scroll stretched between two dowels, and laid it down on the altar. Mike looked questioningly at Al, who signaled that he would explain later. Shortly a man who seemed to know Al came up to him and, nodding in Mike\u2019s direction, asked a question he could not hear. Al shook his head, answered briefly, and the man retreated.<\/p>

Mike watched the proceedings at the altar \u2014 a succession of congregants called by their Hebrew names, blessings chanted, a paragraph or two read from the scroll \u2014 all leaving Mike totally confused. After a while he leaned toward Al and asked whether they could go out for some fresh air. Al nodded and they went out into the balmy October day.<\/p>

\u201cWhat do you think?\u201d Al asked.<\/p>

\u201cI didn\u2019t realize the whole service was going to be in Hebrew. So I couldn\u2019t follow it.\u201d<\/p>

Al laughed. \u201cNeither could most of the guys we were sitting with. I\u2019d guess that about five percent could follow it and understand it; maybe two-thirds could read it but not translate; and one-third couldn\u2019t even read it. Such is the state of Jewish education in the U.S. these days. It\u2019s different in Israel, of course, where they all speak the language. Now aren\u2019t your services in Latin?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cUsed to be, but nowadays that\u2019s optional. In our church we worship mostly in English. But what really struck me in today\u2019s service was the lack of discipline. There were people talking about the news, the World Series, and God knows what else, paying no attention whatever to what was going on up front.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cAh,\u201d Al countered, \u201cyou caught us at a bad time. Most services, say on Sabbath morning, only last a couple of hours, so people stay focused. But what you saw today was a ten-hour marathon. For some folks coming to synagogue is nothing more than symbolic, a social requirement, so to speak. And when it comes to the High Holidays \u2014 and this is the highest of the high \u2014 it\u2019s almost mandatory to make an appearance. If you don\u2019t show up, people will notice, and if you run a business you may lose customers. And the synagogue cashes in. With demand for seats so high, they actually sell tickets just to get attendance.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNo offense, Al,\u201d Mike said, \u201cbut that sounds like extortion.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cOh, it is. But what are you going to do? If everyone else pays, they expect you \u2014 I mean me \u2014 to pay too. But take the long view: A couple hundred dollars is a small price to have your sins forgiven, and to protect your business.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cDid you have to pay for me too?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cAbsolutely. But you\u2019re my guest, so think no more of it.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cDon\u2019t they pass the basket for donations?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNo. Jews don\u2019t handle money on the Sabbath or Holy Days. It\u2019s all done with pledges. You saw those men being called up to the Torah reading?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThe what<\/em> reading?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cTorah. The scroll they took out of the Ark and read from. That wall cupboard is called an Ark. Those scrolls are the holiest objects in all Jewishdom \u2014 whatever. Dropping one is punishable by forty days of fasting.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cAre you kidding me?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNo, I\u2019m not. Though there are probably ways to plead extenuating circumstances. Anyway, I\u2019ve never seen one dropped. These folks are very, very careful.\u201d<\/p>

Mike shivered at the thought of forty days of fasting. \u201cWhy forty days?\u201d<\/p>

Al shrugged. \u201cI don\u2019t know. I guess it\u2019s some sort of magic number. Probably says so somewhere in the Torah.\u201d He smiled. \u201cAnyway, getting back to what I was saying. All those guys who went up for a reading pledged money. Which brings me to you.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cMe? Do I have to pledge? I\u2019d be glad to. With all the sins I\u2019ve committed.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNo, no, don\u2019t you worry. You remember that fellow coming up to me and whispering something in my ear? Did you see him looking at you?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYeah. What was that?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cHe asked me whether you\u2019d like to be called up. It\u2019s a sort of honor for visitors. And, of course, they expect a token of appreciation. Fifty bucks at least if you don\u2019t want to be labeled a cheapskate. I declined on your behalf. I should probably have asked you first.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNo, that\u2019s OK. You did right. And I can just imagine the priest next time I go to confession. \u2018You went to a Jewish service? You gave them money? Money the diocese could have used?\u2019 Then he would have squeezed another fifty out of me for penitence. So you saved me a hundred.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWell, I\u2019m glad I didn\u2019t let you down. Now let\u2019s go get something to eat. Your priest won\u2019t hold that against you. We can take the afternoon off, check in with the wives, but we should go again this evening. Yom Kippur ends at nightfall and everyone\u2019ll be in a good mood because they can go home and eat. I bet you\u2019ve never heard anyone blow the shofar!\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThe what?\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cRam\u2019s horn.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cDon\u2019t you know what a ram is? It\u2019s a male sheep. You can blow through the horn like a bugle. That\u2019s a special treat at the end of the service.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou got to show me sometime. Play me a tune.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI will. Not a tune, but a good shofar blower can make different sounds come out. Those sounds, by the way, have Hebrew names. But never mind, it gets too complicated. The shofar, by the way, is not a holy object, and you can drop it all you want.<\/p>

\u201cAnyway, after the service people will come up to us with good wishes for the next year, like May you be inscribed and sealed in the Book of Life,<\/em> that sort of thing. That may be in Hebrew too. All you have to do is smile, thank them, and wish them the same. In English. They all know English. Let\u2019s meet outside the synagogue at seven.\u201d<\/p>

Gladys greeted her husband with a smile, and Mike returned it in kind.<\/p>

\u201cSo tell me,\u201d she said, \u201chow was it?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cReally interesting. I\u2019m going back with Al this evening for the closing ceremony. I\u2019ll tell you all about it over dinner. Don\u2019t forget, we\u2019re going to the Goldstones.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cOK, I\u2019ll wait,\u201d she said. \u201cJust tell me one thing: Did you get converted?\u201d<\/p>

He simply laughed. She detected the slightest hesitation in his laughter, and the tone left her wondering just what had happened.\u00a0<\/p>

They had never been dinner guests of a Jewish family, and the menu, while unfamiliar, turned out very much to their liking. As befitted any good housewife, of whatever religion, Gladys took home recipes for homemade chicken matzo-ball soup and pot roast. But it was the table conversation that most captivated not only Gladys but Barbara too.<\/p>

\u201cIt\u2019s been quite a day,\u201d Mike said. \u201cFirst an all-day worship service, then a dinner that almost made me wish I\u2019d fasted so I could appreciate it even more.\u201d He went on to recount his observations, the juxtaposition of piety and inattention, Torah readings and baseball, reverence and boredom. With each contrast his voice became a shade quieter, as though he were retreating into introspection. Gladys was the first to notice the change and asked: \u201cIt sounds as if it really got to you, Mike, didn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>

Leaving the question hanging in the air, Al interjected: \u201cHe almost had an aliyah.<\/em> I saved him just in time.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhat\u2019s an aliyah?\u201d<\/em> Gladys asked. \u201cIs it as scary as it sounds? A heart attack, or stroke, or something?\u201d<\/p>

Al laughed. \u201cNo, not any kind of health crisis, It\u2019s actually an honor, often given to visitors. It means being called up front for a Torah reading.\u201d<\/p>

This struck Gladys as exceedingly funny. \u201cYou,<\/em> Mike,<\/em> Torah reading? You could have been excommunicated! Besides, you wouldn\u2019t know how to read that Torah. I bet it\u2019s in Hebrew.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t have had to read it. The cantor does that and you just stand by and try to pay attention.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cStill,\u201d Gladys said, \u201cI wouldn\u2019t recommend telling Father Larkin.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI think he\u2019d try to understand,\u201d Mike replied. \u201cHe would have said, \u2018Better Torah<\/em> than Car and Driver<\/em>,\u2019 which is what I usually read. Anyway, as you heard, Al saved me by declining on my behalf. The guy obviously had no idea that I didn\u2019t even belong in a synagogue.\u201d<\/p>

Gladys was still laughing. \u201cHe must have thought you were Jewish. Hmm, come to think of it, yes, you could pass.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019m flattered \u2014 by him and by you,\u201d Mike said dryly.<\/p>

\u201cBy the way, Mike,\u201d Al asked suddenly, \u201cisn\u2019t your daughter-in-law Jewish?\u201d<\/p>

Mike made a face that said he\u2019d rather not answer. But he did. \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cSo I\u2019d think,\u201d Al said, \u201cthat you\u2019d know all about Jewish customs by now. Didn\u2019t she give you a bit of a Jewish education?\u201d<\/p>

Mike looked down at his dinner plate. \u201cShe\u2019s a bit of a sensitive subject with me. Another time I\u2019ll tell you.\u201d<\/p>

Gladys didn\u2019t want to add to Mike\u2019s embarrassment, but she thought his ignorance was unfair to her. \u201cI learned quite a bit from her during all those years,\u201d she said, \u201cjust as she learned about us.\u201d<\/p>

He silently determined to thank Gladys for ending that conversation, even though her remarks should have embarrassed him. Truth be told, thoughts were circulating within his brain that he saw only vaguely with his mind\u2019s eye and would not have been able to put into words. He had never been a devout Catholic, so being present at a Jewish service did not jar his conscience. He needed time to figure out exactly what the experience had meant to him.<\/p>

Sleep eluded him again that night but, unlike that time in the motel, his thoughts were not depressing. Unable to understand the language of the service, and merely guessing at its content, he had actually been bored until his ears caught the conversation about the World Series. Not that he needed any information from those men. He was totally up to date on the latest game and how its outcome affected the chances of the Red Sox. He was a Yankees fan first, an American League fan second. The idea of a National League team victory was unthinkable. The Yankees had not made it to the Series this year, so he rooted for the Red Sox. \u00a0But the conversation he overheard piqued his interest. To begin with, some members of that group seemed to favor the Cardinals. He had imagined the same conversation, complete with the requisite yelling and insults, taking place in the auto showroom, and he couldn\u2019t help thinking that but for the sacred ambience of the occasion the Jews would have been going at it just like their Christian brethren. Mike began to feel more tolerant of Jews.<\/p>

Arriving at the showroom next morning, Mike saw Al talking on the telephone. As soon as the call was finished, the two men greeted each other cordially. \u201cThat was some delicious dinner,\u201d Mike said. \u201cPlease thank Barbara again for us.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cGlad you enjoyed it, and glad that you joined us at the synagogue. Now we\u2019ve got another treat for you.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cCome with us to the synagogue next Monday and see the sukkah<\/em>. The entire week we celebrate the harvest festival, lots of joy, good food, wonderful atmosphere. Great antidote to Yom Kippur.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThat\u2019s kind of you. And of course we\u2019ll need an education.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou\u2019ll get that. We\u2019ll make Jews of you yet!\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI hope that\u2019s not a condition of our going with you,\u201d Mike said, laughing.<\/p>

\u201cNo, I was kidding about that,\u201d Al reassured him. \u201cUnlike Christians \u2014 no offense \u2014 we don\u2019t try to convert people to Judaism. Let everybody worship in their own way, that\u2019s our motto.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cGlad to hear it, Al. On the other hand, when our priest finds out where I\u2019ve been and what I\u2019ve been doing \u2014 and of course I\u2019ll have to confess \u2014 my penance may be that I have to bring you in for conversion to Catholicism!\u201d<\/p>

Now both men were laughing. \u201cAnd it would serve me right!\u201d Al said. \u201cBut no dice.\u201d<\/p>

On the following Monday, after lunch so as not to interfere with religious activities, Al took Mike to see the sukkah<\/em>. Nobody else was there, so Al took time to explain the festival to Mike and demonstrate the structure erected in the yard behind the synagogue, especially the unusual roof, which consisted of twigs and leaves and was hung with fruit. Mike was struck by the scent of all that vegetation and imagined taking meals in it. Mentioning his impressions to Al, he was surprised with Al\u2019s statement, \u201cThat\u2019s exactly what a lot of Jews do. It\u2019s very enjoyable. Now this particular sukkah<\/em> here, it\u2019s not for actually taking a meal, just for kiddush,<\/em> a blessing complete with wine and just a piece of bread. Maybe we can sneak in after the evening service. I wouldn\u2019t expect you to sit through that, even though it isn\u2019t all that long, but you\u2019d like the kiddush<\/em>. Get to shake a few hands and, of course, sip a little Manischewitz. I bet you\u2019ve never drunk it. It\u2019s sweet and a lot of people don\u2019t think much of it. Personally I prefer beer, but don\u2019t tell anyone.\u201d<\/p>

True to plan, Mike accompanied Al to the kiddush <\/em>that evening. The bonhomie was palpable; everyone seemed convinced that since they had survived intact for five days after Yom Kippur, their sins must have been forgiven. The wine was just as sweet as promised, which earned it the contempt of would-be enologists. Nonetheless, both men held out their glasses for refills.<\/p>

On his way home, Mike reflected on his experience. He needed to figure out what it all meant; in particular, why he was in such a good mood. It surely wasn\u2019t the Manischewitz; he too would have preferred beer.<\/p>

Without giving it any more thought, he asked Gladys that night: \u201cCan we have Debbie over for dinner?\u201d<\/p>

Gladys contained her surprise and said: \u201cSure. I\u2019ll call her and set a date.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI need to apologize to her,\u201d Mike said in a subdued voice. \u201cFor a lot of things.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cHow about me?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou too.\u201d<\/p>

Actually, Gladys\u2019s question was based on ambiguity; she could not tell whether she was being conscripted to his confession or was herself an intended recipient of an apology. She recognized the ambiguity the moment she had asked, but since something truly important was about to take place she once again controlled herself and simply decided to do as Mike asked.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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TWENTY-ONE >><\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dressed in his Sunday best, Mike met Al on the steps of the synagogue at nine o\u2019clock on the following Wednesday. A pleasant young man wearing a yarmulke greeted Al and offered his companion a yarmulke and tallith from a box. 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