{"id":114,"date":"2022-02-08T16:40:44","date_gmt":"2022-02-08T21:40:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/foxglovesystems.com\/herbheineman\/Stowaway\/?page_id=114"},"modified":"2022-04-07T17:46:34","modified_gmt":"2022-04-07T21:46:34","slug":"ten","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Stowaway\/ten\/","title":{"rendered":"TEN"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Debbie had two years for casual dating ahead at college, so why hurry to make up her mind about Con? Take your time, her mother had said. Now she wondered whether two years was enough time \u2014 or whether it was more time than she could stand. Was<\/em> there a skeleton in the Flynns\u2019 closet, or was she overreacting to an innocent discovery? Did that picture mean anything or could she shrug it off as interesting but insignificant family history? The only thing she was sure of was that she didn\u2019t want to wait forever to find out. Mom\u2019s advice notwithstanding, she was determined to settle the question sooner rather than later.<\/p>

She was reluctant to ask directly, but she couldn\u2019t think of a way to begin that awkward conversation. Con unwittingly started it for her. On the bus to New York for their Christmas break Debbie invited him to spend a couple of days with the Rabins after the holiday.<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019d love to,\u201d he answered with enthusiasm. \u201cWill Josh be home too?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYes.\u201d She paused for a moment. \u201cI wonder whether he\u2019s got a new girlfriend. He might want to keep it to himself, not expose himself to questions, till he was sure.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI sure hope he does. He shouldn\u2019t spend the rest of his life in mourning. And he\u2019d be a good catch too.\u201d<\/p>

Debbie looked into her lap, wondering whether she should say what was on her mind. Finally she decided she had to.<\/p>

\u201cYou know, Con, everybody feels sorry for Josh, and I know he deserves all that sympathy. But \u2014 and I feel terrible saying this, I just can\u2019t help myself \u2014 Edie was my friend too. In fact she and I were best friends for years before it even occurred to Josh to become serious about her. Practically from the moment we came to Philadelphia. At that time Edie and I were both in fifth grade, and even when she had to repeat because of her illness, and we were never in the same grade after that, we remained close friends. Of course, living just a short walk from each other\u2019s homes helped. But still. Perhaps I\u2019m being selfish, but sometimes I feel that I deserve some sympathy too.\u201d<\/p>

By this time tears were running down her cheeks \u2014 whether tears of grief, self-pity, or self-rebuke, she would have been hard put to say. Maybe they were all of those.<\/p>

\u201cOh God, I should just shut up,\u201d she said with despair in her voice.<\/p>

\u201cIt\u2019s good to let it out,\u201d Con said, attempting to comfort her. Then, after a pause, he picked up on a detail in her story.<\/p>

\u201cYou came to Philadelphia in fifth grade? I thought you\u2019d lived there all your life. Where are you from originally?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cPittsburgh. My father was offered a good position in Philadelphia, so we moved.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI don\u2019t know anything about Mount Airy, despite all the time I lived in Philly. We lived in the Northeast, a couple of zip codes and ten miles away. But my father\u2019s family\u2019s originally from Georgia. Grandpa came north in the twenties to look for work and never returned home.\u201d<\/p>

That was Debbie\u2019s cue. Taking a deep breath, she turned to Con and said:<\/p>

\u201cThat family album in your living room, I assumed it was there for guests to look at, so I did. And there was a picture . . .\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYeah, you\u2019re not the first person to ask. I wish my parents would just throw it away. Mom wants to, but Dad says it\u2019s part of his family history and belongs with the other pictures. I wouldn\u2019t be surprised if he were actually proud of it.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWere any of your family in that picture, wearing those hideous white robes and hoods?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019m pretty sure there weren\u2019t. Those Klan bastards wouldn\u2019t take anyone who wasn\u2019t American, white, and Protestant. We\u2019re Catholics, and that alone would have disqualified any Flynn. Even the name sounds Irish and to most people Irish means Catholic.\u201d<\/p>

Debbie found little solace in Con\u2019s declaration. Was he saying that if his ancestors hadn\u2019t been disqualified they\u2019d have been Klan members \u2014 by choice?<\/p>

And she wondered about Mike Flynn\u2019s attitude. Was he thankful that his family had been spared entanglement with that hate group? Or did he regret that they were rejected? And how about Gladys? Was she ashamed? Indifferent? Embarrassed? Why did she want to discard the picture? Did she hate the message? Or did she subscribe to it but not want visitors to know about this aspect of Flynn history?<\/p>

Debbie had a lot of work to do before she confronted Con with those questions \u2014 whose answers, in any case, might lead to more speculation than fact. For now she could only feel the knot in her stomach and the pressure in her head.<\/p>

As was her habit, she turned to her fount of wisdom in matters of the heart. Initially Esther\u2019s eyes opened wide. This story obviously took her by surprise. After a silent pause, she nodded and looked her daughter in the eye.<\/p>

\u201cChildren\u2019s attitudes reflect those of their parents, sometimes more than they realize even after they\u2019re grown up. But, unless they feel an obligation to carry on tradition, they also develop their own way of thinking. I don\u2019t know Con well enough to predict how he\u2019ll deal with his cultural inheritance. You don\u2019t either, else you wouldn\u2019t be asking me. But living an adult life with a chosen partner also influences a person\u2019s thinking. We\u2019re all constantly absorbing, integrating, rejecting, modifying our environment. What I\u2019m saying is that Con could turn out quite different from his father. In fact, I\u2019d say that\u2019s likely, what with being born and bred in the North. Do you love him?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI enjoy his company. I always look forward to seeing him, talking with him, all those things, even physical. Is that love?\u201d<\/p>

Esther smiled. \u201cWho knows what love is? I love your father, more now than when we were young \u2014 and differently. But you want a definition? I can\u2019t give it to you, even though I use the word freely myself.\u201d<\/p>

Debbie shrugged. Her mother was trying to be helpful but not entirely succeeding. \u201cDid you know,\u201d Debbie asked, \u201chow your love for Dad would become different, as you put it?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI had no idea. Didn\u2019t even know there was a difference. In retrospect, I\u2019d say I thought that what I felt for him early on would last forever.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cAnd it didn\u2019t?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNo, it got better! Obsession \u2014 which characterizes \u2018being in love\u2019 as well as anything I can think of \u2014 developed into steadiness and comfort. No couple really knows how their early relationship will transform, but transform it will, either positively, as it did for your dad and me, or negatively, as it does for so many, who end up miserable and often divorced.<\/p>

\u201cDo you remember sharing pearls of wisdom on this subject with Eden? \u2018Dating; going steady; loving\u2019? I thought that was pretty insightful, especially at your age, and there was no doubt where Eden stood on that scale. So now you have to project it farther. Think of being in love and loving as different states. For starters, define those concepts \u2014 assuming, of course, that at one time or another you\u2019ve been, or will be, both.\u201d<\/p>

Debbie shook her head vigorously as if that would clear her thinking. After a minute or so she had her answer.<\/p>

\u201cMom,\u201d she said, \u201cyou\u2019re asking me to compare the present with the future, and I don\u2019t know what the future is!\u201d<\/p>

\u201cSo there you are!\u201d Esther admired the way Debbie had put it. Succinct and true. \u201cNobody does. You try to anticipate<\/em>, based on what you\u2019ve experienced and what it\u2019s likely to develop into. And you can\u2019t be certain you\u2019ve got it right until that future becomes the present. At least you\u2019re thinking, which is something a lot of young people unfortunately don\u2019t do.\u201d<\/p>

Debbie threw up her hands. What\u2019s the use of thinking,<\/em> only to tell yourself later, Yeah, I thought<\/em> of that possibility? In fact, she did think, often and hard, especially after a date with Con. But all the thinking didn\u2019t lead her to the epiphany she longed for. A year later, with no intervening revelations, and conceding that she\u2019d never be any wiser than she was then, she said yes.<\/p>

They were married in a civil ceremony and had a reception at the Rabins\u2019 home. Mike tried to smile when a smile was called for. Gladys wanted to have a second reception in Brooklyn, but Mike said, \u201cOne of those is enough.\u201d In truth he feared that his reputation would suffer if his acquaintances, and especially prospective customers, got wind of the fact that his son had married a Jew.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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<< NINE<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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ELEVEN >><\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Debbie had two years for casual dating ahead at college, so why hurry to make up her mind about Con? Take your time, her mother had said. Now she wondered whether two years was enough time \u2014 or whether it was more time than she could stand. 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