{"id":348,"date":"2016-09-10T14:31:40","date_gmt":"2016-09-10T18:31:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.herbheineman.com\/?page_id=348"},"modified":"2024-07-26T10:03:38","modified_gmt":"2024-07-26T14:03:38","slug":"chapter-38","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/edensgarden\/chapter-38\/","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 38: Peace"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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PART III<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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They were seated around a table on the patio of Felipe\u2019s Restaurant, drinking their after-dinner coffee. \u201cThe last time we sat here was right after Edie\u2019s memorial service,\u201d Karen said. \u201cUp to this day we\u2019ve never wanted to go back. Now, for the first time, I feel all right. You remember, Josh, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>

His eyes were moist, but there was a smile on his face. \u201cYes, I do. We were all crying together and leaning on each other.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cEdie would be so proud. Especially of your part in bringing us to this.\u201d<\/p>

Father Conley turned to Alan. \u201cHow did you get those people with their special interests to agree to open conferences? Doesn\u2019t that go against everything the doctors hold dear?\u201d<\/p>

Alan laughed. \u201cSometimes I can\u2019t figure it out myself.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cOf course,\u201d Father Conley offered, a twinkle in his eye, \u201cI\u2019m a man of the cloth. I can explain everything very easily. But you might have a different explanation.\u201d<\/p>

Alan did have a hypothesis. \u201cI think it was a matter of benefits outweighing risks. The insurance company figured there was nothing to lose. Maybe there\u2019ll be fewer lawsuits; maybe there\u2019ll be more amicable settlements, and lower legal fees. Maybe nothing\u2019ll change. They certainly don\u2019t expect it to cost more. So they save money or they don\u2019t. Not much risk.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWere you going to represent yourself, Mrs. Avery?\u201d Father Conley asked.<\/p>

\u201cNo, my firm was. My friend Bobbie Buehl was handling our case. She told me a funny story. Bruce MacAdoo \u2015 the attorney for Healers Protective \u2015 called Frank Frazier, one of our senior partners. I think it was Wednesday, the fourth of January. He didn\u2019t say Calvin had just left his office; that came out later. Frank referred him to Bobbie, which did nothing to improve his mood. He wanted the boss and he got a woman. He said the hospital had decided to offer a settlement so they could get on with their mission of helping patients . . . \u201d<\/p>

Calvin was laughing. \u201cDo you want to know how patients suddenly became important?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cDo tell us,\u201d Father Conley said.<\/p>

\u201cMacAdoo was trying to coach me. This was my second meeting with him, and I don\u2019t think he liked the first. He was giving me all this stuff about having to act fast in an emergency. Then I was supposed to forget what happened with not asking about allergies, and I couldn\u2019t be forced to remember things that weren\u2019t recorded. And he was telling me how to answer questions so that it would look as if I\u2019d done nothing wrong. And I wasn\u2019t giving him an inch. I insisted on telling the truth. After a while he threw up his hands, and he said, \u2018Doctor, with an attitude like that you\u2019re going to have trouble taking out your own insurance when your time comes.\u2019 That was the end of the session. He was not in a good mood, I can vouch for that.\u201d<\/p>

Karen said: \u201cHe may have been right about your insurance. I hope it won\u2019t be hard for you. But he was embarrassed to tell Bobbie the real reason for settling \u2015 that his client was uncooperative. So Bobbie agreed to meet him Friday \u2015 in her office, of course; she wasn\u2019t above using turf psychology. Now, Wednesday evening, can\u2019t have been long after the meeting with MacAdoo, Calvin came to our house with Josh and we talked. Thursday I met with Bobbie, told her what we planned. Well, she needed the whole evening to get over that. Friday morning she called MacAdoo, said they should meet for lunch instead \u2015 at a restaurant. See? Neutral turf. No more posturing for power; they were friends in a common endeavor now.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cFascinating!\u201d Father Conley said. \u201cBut still, MacAdoo had already offered to settle. So why would he go along with your idea? He must have wondered about setting a precedent.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWe weren\u2019t about to accept a settlement, any<\/em> settlement. We were going to insist on a jury trial, and we were going to win more than he could ever offer. It was a gamble, but our stubbornness forced him to think, and in the end he realized that our idea was the cheapest of all the alternatives. So he consulted with the insurer and they went along.\u201d<\/p>

Alan added, \u201cHow dangerous a precedent could it be? Like I said before, they\u2019re more likely to save money than lose it.\u201d<\/p>

Father Conley leaned back in his chair, almost falling over, and looked at the ceiling.<\/p>

\u201cFascinating! Absolutely fascinating. . . .\u201d\u00a0 He came back down. \u201cOK, now that leaves the hospital and the doctors. I\u2019d think the doctors would be the toughest of all. Just look at what they\u2019ve committed themselves to. It\u2019s frightening! For them, I mean.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThe hospital wasn\u2019t all that hard,\u201d Alan replied. \u201cTrue, they\u2019re at risk in most of the cases, because their staff can\u2019t constantly deny wrongdoing while the attending doctors admit theirs. But there\u2019s a huge public relations payoff. Imagine, if this thing works, their name\u2019ll be gold. If it doesn\u2019t, they\u2019ll still get credit for trying a wonderful idea, whose time maybe hasn\u2019t come. And they\u2019re not concerned with financial risk; that\u2019s the insurance company\u2019s worry.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhat about confidentiality from the legal standpoint?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThere\u2019s no problem for the patients. Sitting in on conferences raises no confidentiality issue for them. Besides, the proceedings of these conferences are protected by law; they can\u2019t be subpoenaed. And don\u2019t forget, this is voluntary disclosure.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cAnd the doctors? How were you able to bring them in?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cAh!\u201d Alan said, \u201cthat really was a cliffhanger. Winning them over almost has me<\/em> believing in divine intervention. The medical staff president last year was Gordon Keller, who happens to be my senior practice partner. He\u2019s also one hell of a lobbyist. He was able to line up sixty-nine votes out of a hundred thirty. Don\u2019t ask me how.\u201d<\/p>

Father Conley shook his head in disbelief and looked heavenward. Then he frowned.<\/p>

\u201cBut weren\u2019t the dissenters outraged, having to go along with something they never agreed to? Are they forced to? Don\u2019t the by-laws protect them against changes in the rules?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cSome of the dissenting voices were loud and nasty. And you\u2019re right, they can\u2019t be made to go along. But once patients get wind of what we\u2019re doing, they\u2019ll ask if their doctors are part of the program. Imagine telling your patient, \u2018No, I’m not. I don\u2019t believe in admitting my mistakes.\u2019 Eleven doctors resigned. Future staff will have to agree as a condition of appointment.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNothing short of a miracle.\u201d Father Conley turned to Calvin. \u201cDid you know this, son?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYes, Father, Doctor Avery told me.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cSo what more does it take?\u201d<\/p>

Calvin looked down, blushing. He knew exactly what Father Conley was asking even if the others did not. \u201cI\u2019m a very lucky man.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI guess this experience has changed us all,\u201d Karen said. \u201cMaybe not you, Father Conley. I\u2019m sure, as a priest you deal all the time with loss, stress, people hurting, death, . . .\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI do, yet every one shows me one more example of strength in adversity. I believe in the essential goodness of people, especially when they make bad mistakes. What Calvin did was face up to himself. I don\u2019t know if it was courage or a conscience that wouldn\u2019t quit. He\u2019ll tell you it\u2019s the latter. Maybe. But most people who\u2019ve hurt someone react like that at first. Where they differ is in dealing with that reaction. Many try to squash it, as if denying wrongdoing could assure them there wasn\u2019t any. But deep down they never convince themselves.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou know, Father Conley,\u201d Josh said, \u201cmy sister Debbie \u2015 she\u2019s Eden\u2019s age, was her best friend \u2015 once said that, inside, we never get away with anything. That\u2019s what you just said. And by the way, she admires the ritual of confession. \u2018Sort of neat,\u2019 she called it.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhat a shame she\u2019s not here,\u201d Father Conley said. \u201cI\u2019d enjoy meeting her.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cBut going back to us all being changed,\u201d Josh continued. \u201cIt\u2019s not only our bereavement but everything that\u2019s happened between us since. Is there a way to put all that together?\u201d<\/p>

The others looked at each other, each hoping someone else would tackle that question. In the end, Father Conley felt the responsibility was his. \u201cI\u2019d say it\u2019s the coming together, the ability to transcend your own loss and empathize with each other. You could have demanded retribution: on the one side, money to make up for a child\u2019s life; on the other, self-immolation for a terrible mistake. Both society and the church subscribe to that way of righting a wrong. It\u2019s easy to understand and easy to do, but everybody loses. I dare say, Doctor and Mrs. Avery, that no amount of money would have lessened your anger toward Calvin; and no amount of self-imposed exile would have made you, Calvin, any less angry with yourself. True forgiveness means liberation from anger, and punishment is a very imperfect way to achieve it. You\u2019ve all shown us the healing and the energizing power of forgiveness.\u201d<\/p>

That is what Father Conley, who was expected to see the big picture, said. But his view of the big picture was far from complete. He knew Calvin\u2019s story, but he did not know Karen\u2019s or Alan\u2019s. Had he been privy to their New Year\u2019s retreat, he might have ducked the job of putting it all together, for he could not have told the whole truth as he saw it, namely, that Calvin, Karen, and Alan, all three, each in their own way, had killed Eden. That her death bound them to each other doubly, through their shared loss and through their shared guilt. That Eden alone could open their eyes to what they had in common, join their hands, and lead them together to freedom. That God placed Joshua in the position of being Eden\u2019s voice on earth.<\/p>

Joshua would not have credited God with enlisting him in Eden\u2019s mission but, recalling Calvin\u2019s first attempt to reach him, would have mused, How wonderful is a mother\u2019s intuition!<\/p>

For better or worse, these thoughts were never articulated.<\/p>

\u201cI could never have done my part without your help, Father,\u201d Calvin said.<\/p>

\u201cAnd we couldn\u2019t have done ours without you, Josh,\u201d Karen said. \u201c\u2014and my dear friend Bobbie.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cAnd whose did you have, Josh?\u201d Father Conley asked.<\/p>

For a while, Josh sat with eyes lowered, biting his lower lip. He looked at Father Conley with a faint smile. \u201cI had a dream.\u201d He described it.<\/p>

\u201cMy word,\u201d Father Conley said. \u201cThe men in white versus the men in black. Hockey sticks instead of stethoscopes and briefcases. What a vivid picture of the ills of the professions! And they were so busy fighting that nobody paid attention to the puck. That\u2019s your patient!\u201d<\/p>

\u201cBut you know,\u201d Karen said thoughtfully, \u201cit isn\u2019t really the doctors against the lawyers, is it? It\u2019s the doctors against the patients. Both sides use lawyers as weapons.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d Calvin said. \u201cWhat do you think, Josh?\u201d<\/p>

Josh shrugged helplessly, then laughed. \u201cOK. But who cares? It served its purpose.\u201d<\/p>

Alan slapped the table. \u201cDo you know what I think?\u201d Nobody did.<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019ve become a bit of a dream expert, never mind how. Talk about propaganda! This is how the public has been trained to think. That it\u2019s doctor versus lawyer. The campaign\u2019s so effective, it\u2019s embedded in your unconscious<\/em> mind. So it shows up in your dreams that way.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cSad, isn\u2019t it?\u201d Father Conley mused. \u201cBut, as you said, Josh, the dream served its purpose. And it wasn\u2019t either the whites or the blacks that showed you the way, was it? There was another figure in your dream.\u201d<\/p>

Josh didn\u2019t need to answer. Karen laid her head on Alan\u2019s shoulder and cried. Suddenly, she sat upright, sniffled, and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. \u201cWe can do better by Edie than sit here and cry.\u201d Smiling through her tears, she reached out to her neighbors. Alan took her right hand and Calvin her left. Then they completed the circle.<\/p>

~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>

\u201cI don\u2019t know what to say, Father. I\u2019m ashamed to admit it, but I feel better now than any time since last summer. How can I feel good?\u00a0 Eden hasn\u2019t come back to life. And I\u2019m just as responsible as I ever was. Have I lost my conscience?\u201d<\/p>

Father Conley rose from his chair, strode to the window, and looked with pleasure at the same view that had backlit his sorrow a year earlier. He turned round and sat on the sill.<\/p>

\u201cMy friend, if you had the kind of faith that allowed you to believe such things, I\u2019d say to you that Eden has indeed come back to life, that you\u2019ve resurrected her. Now I also know if you were a man of true faith, you\u2019d be shocked at the idea of anyone but God resurrecting anybody. But, of course, it\u2019s only a figure of speech.<\/p>

\u201cDon\u2019t be ashamed of your feelings. After the torture you\u2019ve been through, just being at peace has to feel good. A year ago I told you your work would be done only when you felt what the Averys were feeling. You objected, quite rightly, that you could never feel their loss. But then, you were so overwhelmed by the catastrophe that loss was all you could<\/em> think of. In time, you would see that even extreme suffering doesn\u2019t preclude creating something of value from the ruins. Once you were ready for that, your persistence and, indeed, faith \u2015 in human nature if not in God \u2015 led you to find common ground with the Averys. Go back six months, and recall how Eden\u2019s Garden came into being. Read the inscriptions on that column, which you yourself helped write. Stand back and think what they mean. You\u2019ve done so much more than welcome the judgment of those who\u2019ve suffered because of your mistake. You\u2019ve forged a bond with them far stronger, far more lasting, than you ever could have done by saving a life. . . . Yes, strange as it may seem, Eden\u2019s death has made you one with them.\u201d<\/p>

For a few seconds there was absolute silence. Father Conley lowered his eyes, sighed, then looked up with the faintest smile. \u201cDon\u2019t think for a moment that I foresaw this when I told you what you had to do. I had no more idea than you how you should go about it, only that somehow you had to.\u201d He got up and began to pace, hands behind his back. \u201cThe Averys had<\/em> to shut you out of their grief; they could only see you as perpetrator. But time was on their side too. Time and caring friends. In the end, they came to see you as fellow-sufferer and opened their door to you. With that decision, the torture ended for them and for you, and a new day began. You became partners in redemption.\u201d<\/p>

Father Conley came round his desk and placed his hands on Calvin\u2019s shoulders from behind. He thought of the ritual pronouncement that would properly bring Calvin\u2019s penance to a close: Dominus noster Jesus Christus te absolvat et ego auctoritate ipsius te absolvo ab omnibus peccatis tuis, in nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti. <\/em>Nowadays one said it in the vernacular. He wished Latin had not been replaced as the church\u2019s liturgical language. Speaking it, he would have felt more like the channel he was and less like one man talking to another. Who was he, after all \u2015 a mere priest, a former football player losing the fight against fat \u2015 to absolve a fellow human of his sins? For the first time in his ministry, he felt unequal to the authority vested in him. So he said nothing.<\/p>

Calvin did not press Father Conley for words of absolution. A voice not heard since the magic days of his childhood spoke to him, bearing the forgiveness he yearned for. God was smiling and He would not suffer Calvin to wait for the awestruck priest to find his tongue.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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<< Chapter 37<\/a><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Acknowledgement >><\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

PART III They were seated around a table on the patio of Felipe\u2019s Restaurant, drinking their after-dinner coffee. \u201cThe last time we sat here was right after Edie\u2019s memorial service,\u201d Karen said. \u201cUp to this day we\u2019ve never wanted to go back. Now, for the first time, I feel all right. You remember, Josh, don\u2019t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":21,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-348","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/348","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=348"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/348\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":888,"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/348\/revisions\/888"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/21"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}