{"id":344,"date":"2016-09-10T14:20:49","date_gmt":"2016-09-10T18:20:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.herbheineman.com\/?page_id=344"},"modified":"2024-07-26T09:56:15","modified_gmt":"2024-07-26T13:56:15","slug":"chapter-36","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/edensgarden\/chapter-36\/","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 36: A Weekend in the Poconos"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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PART III<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Karen closed the door of her office. She usually offered her clients coffee and directed them to the sofa. Now she treated herself to the same amenities and kicked off her shoes.<\/p>

Bobbie had talked \u201ccommon sense.\u201d Didn\u2019t that usually turn out to be the best way? She put her analytical powers to work and itemized the elements of her present situation:<\/p>

One.<\/em> The case against the hospital was solid.<\/p>

Two.<\/em> Alan, for reasons partly revealed and partly hidden, did not want to be involved.<\/p>

Three<\/em>. She, too, was driven by mixed motives.<\/p>

Four<\/em>. As things stood, their positions were irreconcilable.<\/p>

Five<\/em>. Between them stood a wall, behind which each hid their secret from the other. It had to come down. Otherwise, every conceivable outcome would be a victory for one at the expense of the other, and the rift in their marriage would widen.<\/p>

Drinking her coffee in solitude, she remembered another time almost nineteen years ago when she had also grappled with a life-defining decision. The same demon she barely held at bay then now possessed her again. She marveled at the irony that placed Bobbie, herself both beneficiary and victim of a selfish choice, in the position of advisor. Bobbie\u2019s caring and counsel had indeed opened her eyes. Karen had lost her vision of legal stardom and then her daughter, and she was now rushing headlong to destroy her marriage too.<\/p>

She knew she had to change their collision course. But her other experience could not guide her in the present predicament. Alan had surely been right about the pregnancy, but he was not right about the lawsuit. Abandoning it was out of the question. What Karen needed to abandon was the ambiguity of her motive for pressing it.<\/p>

Her mind was now clear. She finished her coffee. The first task was to accept Alan\u2019s reluctance and help him overcome it. Thanks to Bobbie, Karen recognized that helping<\/em> was the key. Threats would not do. By the time she left the office that afternoon, she had laid out her plan. Alan had called to say a patient had been admitted to his service just before five o\u2019clock. The delay gave her time to consult a directory and make a couple of telephone calls.<\/p>

By seven-thirty they were eating dinner, making the usual small talk. Dessert consisted of vanilla ice cream with sliced strawberries. On a calculated impulse, she said, \u201cYou know, a dash of brandy would really liven this up.\u201d<\/p>

He went for the decanter. \u201cBring a couple of glasses,\u201d she called after him, \u201cjust in case.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI have an idea,\u201d she said two drinks later, her nose poised over her snifter. \u201cWe haven\u2019t talked about New Year\u2019s. I guess we\u2019re not up to partying. But it is a long weekend, and I was thinking we could do something quiet. You know, just get away.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cHmm. I do have New Year\u2019s Eve, starting at noon, and New Year\u2019s Day. But I have to cover the next day. . . . Come to think of it, you\u2019re right. A change would be nice. Did you have something particular in mind?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThere\u2019s a nice bed and breakfast in Newfoundland\u2014\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhat?!\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNo, no! Newfoundland, Pennsylvania. It\u2019s in the Poconos. People go up there for cross-country skiing, although that isn\u2019t what I had in mind.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhat did<\/em> you have in mind?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cJust relaxing, talking, not being distracted.\u201d<\/p>

He looked at her suspiciously. \u201cIs the lawsuit getting to you?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThere are aspects of it that bother me. But I\u2019d rather not talk about it now.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cIsn\u2019t it late to make reservations in the mountains?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNew Year\u2019s must not be much in demand as a ski weekend. Anyway, I lucked out. We already have reservations.\u201d<\/p>

He looked at her again, this time grinning. \u201cWhat if I\u2019d said no?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI took a chance.\u201d She shrugged offhandedly.<\/p>

~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>

They arrived in Newfoundland after dark. There was no snow. \u201cOh dear!\u201d Karen exclaimed. \u201cI never thought to ask. I took it for granted there\u2019d be snow in the mountains.\u201d<\/p>

Peggy and Mike, seasoned hosts, gave them an open bar to allay their disappointment.<\/p>

\u201cAny good hiking up here?\u201d Alan asked.<\/p>

\u201cEnough for a week. And you\u2019ll have the trails to yourself \u2015 especially the next couple of days.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWe lost our daughter last summer,\u201d Karen said, \u201cand we\u2019re not up to celebrating. We just want a quiet evening and a walk in the country tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>

Mike suggested a family restaurant where business would be light. Alan and Karen opted for a twenty-minute walk instead of a five-minute drive and arrived refreshed and hungry. They were seated at a window table. Noticing only a dozen other patrons, Alan asked the waitress jokingly, \u201cYou\u2019re not going to rush us out of here, are you?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cAt eleven-thirty we lock the doors and start partying,\u201d the waitress said with a grin. \u201cThink you can manage in two hours? The rest rooms are in the far right-hand corner.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThen let\u2019s flush away the old year,\u201d Alan answered.<\/p>

They ordered old-fashioneds. Over the first one they sat back, stretched, and agreed that the trip was a great idea. Then, turning their attention to the map Mike had given them, they chose a trail that seemed the right length for walking between breakfast and lunch.<\/p>

\u201cReady to order?\u201d the waitress asked. They did, and took a second cocktail while waiting.<\/p>

\u201cDo you know, Alan, this is the first time we\u2019ve done anything for ourselves since July?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWe needed it. I\u2019m glad you thought of it.\u201d<\/p>

Karen was nervous. She didn\u2019t know when or how to start on what she\u2019d brought them to the mountains to accomplish. Make small talk, ease slowly into the most serious discussion in years? Or follow Josh\u2019s example and come right to the point? In her rush to seize the moment, she\u2019d done a masterful job setting up their retreat and neglected to lay out the agenda. As they worked their way through the meal, she felt the burden of initiative. She suspected that he was waiting for her to say what was on her mind. And so she did.<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019ve done a lot of thinking lately. You asked the other night whether the suit was getting to me, and I said some aspects bothered me.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI remember,\u201d Alan said, putting the last piece of steak in his mouth.<\/p>

\u201cThe part that bothers me is what it\u2019s doing to us. And it\u2019s my fault.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou\u2019re being too hard on yourself. We just have a difference of opinion.\u201d<\/p>

She sat up straight. \u201cIt\u2019s not just<\/em> a difference of opinion. I\u2019m being pigheaded, refusing to acknowledge that there\u2019s another side. I\u2019ve been bulldozing ahead as if you had no right to your reservations. That\u2019s not the way it should be.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWell, we are going ahead. Let\u2019s say we\u2019ve agreed to disagree on some of the details.\u201d<\/p>

Karen didn\u2019t know whether the sarcasm she heard was real or imagined. But she was determined not to quarrel. \u201cI\u2019ve been talking with Bobbie. Not as lawyer, but as friend. She picked me apart pretty well. I knew she was seeing right through me because everything she said clicked. She made me realize what I was doing to the two of us.\u201d<\/p>

Alan looked at her warily. \u201cShe\u2019s not the ideal marriage counselor, is she?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNo. . . . But then, maybe she is, just because of her own experience. She knows choice has its price. She forced me to be honest with myself, and now I want to be honest with you. What\u2019s been driving me isn\u2019t just the malpractice. It isn\u2019t even losing our child. It\u2019s the idea of giving up a promising future in law because I had to raise that child. When Edie died, I felt I had nothing \u2015 like losing my life savings on a hand I never wanted to play. And I was so consumed with anger that I didn\u2019t want to hear about your concerns. I\u2019m so ashamed of myself!\u201d<\/p>

\u201cBut\u2014\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI wanted revenge. I wanted someone<\/em> to pay. When you didn\u2019t want to go along, it was as if you were denying me my last hope. I got so mad, I didn\u2019t give a damn about your reasons. Never stopped to think how much more damage I was doing.\u201d Tears rolled down her cheeks.<\/p>

Seeing her cry, the waitress came over and asked whether there was anything she could do. They ordered another drink. Alan took advantage of the diversion and spoke.<\/p>

\u201cYou had a perfect right to insist on suing, no matter what was driving you. I know a bit of psychology too. Maybe not as much as Bobbie, but enough to get by. \u2015 Sorry! \u2015 People do things for all kinds of reasons. If what you\u2019re doing is right, you needn\u2019t question your motives.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhat I was doing was not right,\u201d she answered, more quietly. \u201cThe way I behaved was destructive. We only have each other now.\u201d She stared out the window into the darkness.<\/p>

\u201cWhat we went through was bound to cause strain,\u201d he said. \u201cHow could it not? But we\u2019re pulling through. And I\u2019ll go along with the suit. They\u2019ll offer a settlement we can live with; they don\u2019t have a choice.\u201d<\/p>

Breaking the brief silence that followed, he said: \u201cLet\u2019s pay our bill before we get locked in. We can talk more outside.\u201d<\/p>

The frigid air took away their breath, discouraging further conversation. In the silence Karen felt self-conscious. She didn\u2019t know whether she\u2019d taken a step forward or backward. She\u2019d aired her guilt, and he\u2019d forgiven her. On top of that, he\u2019d said, for the first time, that he supported her in the suit. Surely she had reason to be elated, yet she felt let down. Maybe her mood knew something her intellect didn\u2019t. Tomorrow she\u2019d put her finger on it.<\/p>

\u201cWhat time is it?\u201d she asked.<\/p>

He stopped under a streetlight. \u201cEleven-forty-five, it looks like. Getting late.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cIf we hadn\u2019t got out of there, the waitress would have made us toast the New Year,\u201d she replied with a laugh, \u201cbut I couldn\u2019t take another drop tonight. I just want to fall into bed.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou\u2019re right. The new year\u2019ll come in whether or not we drink to it.\u201d<\/p>

They were at the door of their B & B when they heard the cheering from inside. In the distance fireworks went off. \u201cCome, help us welcome the New Year,\u201d Peggy said as they came in, waving a glass toward them. They declined as gracefully as they could and went up to bed.<\/p>

\u201cThe new year has to be better than the old,\u201d Karen said softly, as she lay in the darkness.<\/p>

A few seconds passed. \u201cI want to tell you something. Are you awake enough to listen?\u201d<\/p>

She turned to him. \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhat you said in the restaurant took a lot of courage. It must\u2019ve been hard to say it even to yourself. But to me, of all people\u2014\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI couldn\u2019t have done it without a few drinks.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNow that you\u2019re sober, do you want to take any of it back?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI meant every word, and I thank you for not being judgmental. You could have despised me for getting my priorities backward. Maybe you do, but you\u2019re nice enough not to say so.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cIt seemed so totally authentic and spontaneous. You didn\u2019t have to explain yourself. Even if I\u2019d wanted to be judgmental, I couldn\u2019t after you made yourself so vulnerable. Besides, what right do I have to judge you? I\u2019ve been so self-centered, I never gave you credit for your sacrifice. All I thought about was that you had an obligation\u2014\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI did.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI should have asked myself why you\u2019d even consider reneging on something so basic. Sure, you wanted to establish yourself. I understood the words, but the real meaning \u2015 that this was your life, as much as medicine was mine \u2015 never penetrated. Even when Bobbie got her partnership, my reaction was, you were better off with your family than she with her career.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI was, Alan!\u201d<\/p>

\u201cBut I never took the trouble to find out whether that was the way you<\/em> felt. I drew my conclusions and expected you to share them.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWell, just look at me,\u201d Karen said. \u201cThreatening to barge ahead on my own if you didn\u2019t go along. I never gave you a chance to talk about what was really bothering you.\u201d<\/p>

Alan wondered whether she already knew what was really bothering him.<\/p>

\u201cLet\u2019s sleep now,\u201d he said. \u201cWe can talk more in the morning.\u201d<\/p>

Neither slept. Alan lay on his back, arms by his side, eyes on the ceiling. Coward! He flung the accusation at himself. So he\u2019d agreed to go along with the lawsuit. Agreed!<\/em> As if it were her issue, and his role was to grant or withhold support. He\u2019d professed confidence in a settlement, adroitly sidestepping the issue of taking the stand. He\u2019d listened condescendingly as Karen bared her soul, had even admitted to being self-centered, yet had continued to guard his secret. She\u2019d trusted him and he hadn\u2019t trusted her. It was the grossest injustice. He owed it to her, and to himself, to come out of hiding. Tomorrow\u2019s task was laid out.<\/p>

Next to him Karen picked up where she left off during their midnight walk. To her delight, her subconscious mind, evidently unimpeded by alcohol, had done the job, for she understood now why Alan\u2019s promise to go along with the suit hadn\u2019t lifted her spirits: She no longer cared.<\/em> Months of anger, determination, visions of revenge, and scheming to arrive at this point \u2015 and her prize was no longer worth the contest. The discovery made her realize just how much her campaign had been energized by Alan\u2019s resistance. If she needed one more reason to question her motive, this was it. How had this come about?<\/p>

Without knowing it, Alan had executed a masterstroke. What she\u2019d first confessed in the safety of Bobbie\u2019s confidence she\u2019d now confessed to him. It should have been a liberating experience, but it wasn\u2019t. He could have disputed the substance of her confession, letting her bask in the self-righteousness of overly harsh self-criticism. He could have agreed with her, testing her sincerity and offering her the chance to substitute resentment for guilt. He\u2019d done neither. By telling her that her motives didn\u2019t matter, that people do things for all kinds of reasons, he\u2019d dumped the responsibility of judgment back in her lap. He had forgiven her on his own behalf; he had not spoken for Edie. To pursue vengeance for a reason that Alan didn\u2019t subscribe to, and that was such a blatant offense to Edie, would bring her no vindication. Quite the opposite. It would conceal guilt of motivation beneath pride of action. Her duty was clear. She must draw back.<\/p>

Giving her subconscious mind the overnight assignment of organizing her thoughts, so that she could explain her new resolve to Alan in the morning, she fell into a peaceful sleep.<\/p>

New Year\u2019s Day was cloudless. A perfect day for a hike. Outside the window lay a large expanse of meadow bordered by a line of leafless trees. The ice on the windowpanes warned the visitors not to be fooled by the brilliant sunshine. Alan spotted an outdoor thermometer: four degrees Fahrenheit. Their ski clothes would be put to good use, snow or no snow.<\/p>

Their path took them across the meadow, exposed to a stiff north wind that made the temperature feel like thirty below. Even the crows seemed disinclined to brave the cold. For two hundred yards they walked, arms linked, listening to the crunch of their footsteps on the frozen turf. First Karen, then Alan wrapped their scarves round their chins. \u201cOne, two, three!\u201d and, arms still linked, they jumped across a ditch. Shortly they came to the edge of the woods.<\/p>

\u201cHow did you sleep?\u201d Karen asked.<\/p>

\u201cI kept thinking about what we said and what we didn\u2019t say. Rather, what I<\/em> didn\u2019t say.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYour wheels turn quietly. I didn\u2019t realize you were also awake.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou too?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYes, and I also did some thinking. I\u2019d like to tell you about it.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI go first,\u201d he said, laughing. \u201cAnd you must promise to let me finish.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019ll try.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou made a courageous confession last night. Now it\u2019s time to tell you some truths about myself. I was scared to go on the stand because I\u2019d have to confess my part in Edie\u2019s illness, all the way from her strep throat to the infected knee. I had this vision where I was being cross-examined by their lawyer, and he was showing how all Edie\u2019s troubles were my fault\u2014\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThey weren\u2019t your fault. Some\u2014\u201d<\/p>

\u201cKaren, I missed the boat on the strep throat that started it all. Then I gave her such a hard time with the penicillin at camp that she was scared to tell me she\u2019d lost the pills. And then I treated the knee infection as though it were no big deal. I\u2019ve got a load of baggage, and the reason I didn\u2019t dare accuse anyone else of killing our child is that I\u2019m the one responsible.\u201d His voice broke before he could say more.<\/p>

\u201cI promised I\u2019d try to let you finish, but I can\u2019t let you beat up on yourself like that. Everything you did was with Edie\u2019s best interest in mind. Being both parent and doctor to your child is very hard. Don\u2019t blame yourself for things that were just bad luck.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019ve been a despicable coward about the lawsuit,\u201d Alan went on, his voice steady now. \u201cBut I\u2019m not going to shy away from it any more. We have legal rights and we have moral rights. If it means I have to face the music in court, that\u2019s what I\u2019ll do. I owe it to you, I owe it to Edie, and I owe it to my self-esteem. Because if I have to add to my r\u00e9sum\u00e9 that I got you both in your present states and then abandoned you, I might as well pack it in.\u201d<\/p>

They entered the woods. Without foliage to obstruct its light, the sun shone almost as brightly as it had on the meadow. But they were now partly sheltered from the wind. Slowing down to pick their way over fallen branches, they absorbed the serenity of their surroundings for several minutes. Then the path narrowed, forcing them to unlink their arms. Karen took Alan\u2019s hand, as if walking single-file would otherwise separate them. Eventually they came to a clearing and stopped to look for the marked tree that designated the continuation of their trail. Alan saw it first and began to walk toward it when Karen pulled gently on his hand.<\/p>

\u201cAlan,\u201d she said, shaking her head as if disbelieving her own thoughts, \u201cif the subject weren\u2019t so serious, I\u2019d be laughing my head off right now. Not at you, but at the crazy turn our positions have taken. You see, while you were making up your mind to take the stand, it was dawning on me that I\u2019d lost my desire to go through with it. So here we are. In less than twenty-four hours we\u2019ve both confessed our secrets, we\u2019ve both switched our positions, and guess what: We\u2019re on opposite sides again. We still disagree!\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYes, but you were right all along, just on the bare facts alone. And we should go ahead.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWe\u2013ell,\u201d she said, \u201cI\u2019ve been turning over a few more thoughts. Now that each of us has acknowledged the other side, we could agree to either keep going or withdraw without one of us resenting the other. But we might resent ourselves instead. Suppose, for example, we went ahead and won, as we\u2019d be bound to. How could I avoid being confused over what I was being compensated for? My ambivalence alone would be an offense to Edie. Alan, I want to stop thinking in those terms. I don\u2019t trust my emotions.\u201d<\/p>

Alan nodded. \u201cI understand. Though to be honest, I\u2019m not sure that\u2019s reason enough not to act. We can\u2019t erase our pasts, neither the events nor the feelings we\u2019ve harbored all this time. We should put them on the table, in full view, do what we can, lament what we can\u2019t do, and move on. Besides, look at the alternative: Suppose we withdraw. Then you can be sure you<\/em> haven\u2019t acted out of questionable motives. But I\u2019d be relieved that I don\u2019t have to face that cross-examination. So now we\u2019re catering to my<\/em> questionable motives. See?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cExactly!\u201d she said triumphantly. \u201cEither you or I end up not feeling right. You\u2019ve said it!\u201d She took both Alan\u2019s hands in hers. \u201cWe\u2019ve come so far, I don\u2019t want either of us having reservations about doing the right thing. Any<\/em> reservations. Is that too ambitious?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cIt\u2019s idealistic,\u201d he answered. \u201cNo person in his right mind would let such idealism stand between him and a million dollars.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cHim or her,\u201d she teased.<\/p>

\u201cYes, him or her,\u201d he repeated seriously. \u201cNo one would ever believe it. But I do, fool that I am. . . . What can<\/em> we do that\u2019ll leave us both feeling clean?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI don\u2019t know, but as long as we don\u2019t know what else to do, I\u2019m curious what McCrae has in mind. I\u2019m still suspicious of him, but after the shock of Josh\u2019s visit wore off I asked myself, What if it were true? And do you know what answer I came up with?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNo. What?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cFirms like F & D might have to diversify. Imagine doctors owning up to their mistakes, like McCrae seems to be doing. What would the victims need lawyers for? Note I didn\u2019t say plaintiffs. Every settlement would be amicable. No trial, no humongous jury award.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cDo you think McCrae \u2015 supposing he\u2019s for real \u2015 is just trying to cut out the lawyers? What would he care? How would that ease his conscience?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI don\u2019t know. Actually,\u201d she looked at him to make sure he was paying attention, \u201cI\u2019m even thinking, how about if we listen to what he has to say?\u201d She held her breath.<\/p>

Alan\u2019s face clouded over. \u201cAs a lawyer, don\u2019t you think that would prejudice our case?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cIt could,\u201d she answered with a shrug, \u201calthough that could be dealt with. Maybe I should ask Bobbie. To tell the truth, I don\u2019t know how else to get any new ideas, and something tells me that his are going to be new if nothing else. So I\u2019m prepared to gamble.\u201d<\/p>

He looked at her fondly and nodded. \u201cLet\u2019s do it.\u201d And he started to move toward the edge of the clearing. She held back, stopping him for a second time.<\/p>

\u201cIt really is a new year, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>

~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>

On the first day back, Karen made straight for Bobbie\u2019s office. Bobbie had only to see her face to know that something significant had happened over the weekend. It took Karen a full minute to find her voice. \u201cBobbie, I don\u2019t even know where to start.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cIt\u2019s all right. Tell me the end first. We can fill in the rest later. And Happy New Year.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYeah, Happy New Year. You won\u2019t believe this\u2014\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYes, I will.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWe had an incredible time. When it was over, Alan was ready to go forward.\u201d Bobbie\u2019s eyes and mouth opened wide with pleasure. \u201cAnd I\u2019m not sure I want to.\u201d Bobbie\u2019s eyes and mouth opened wider with disbelief. Karen sat down and explained.<\/p>

\u201cMy God,\u201d Bobbie said when Karen had finished, \u201cthat is some story. Between the two of you, you don\u2019t quite want to sue, and you don\u2019t quite want to not sue. Do I have it right?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou have it right.\u201d<\/p>

Bobbie sighed. \u201cI\u2019m a person of limited imagination. It seems to me you must either do it or not do it. Are there other options?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWe\u2019d like to find one, so we were wondering what McCrae might have in mind.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cLet him speak his piece.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cTo whom?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cUs. Alan and me,\u201d Karen said. She felt like cringing but steeled herself.<\/p>

Bobbie\u2019s incredulity was exhausted. Her answer was firm and matter-of-fact. \u201cLitigants meeting without their lawyers present? No, we can\u2019t have that. There\u2019s a suit in progress.\u201d<\/p>

Karen took a deep breath. \u201cI\u2019m not saying we feel strongly about it, but suppose we did?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThere isn\u2019t a thing I could do to stop you. But as your lawyer I\u2019m advising unequivocally against it. And if such a meeting leads to trouble \u2015 which I guarantee it will \u2015 I doubt that I can bail you out.\u201d Karen did not answer.<\/p>

\u201cI think,\u201d Bobbie went on more deliberately, \u201cthat if you insist on meeting with McCrae, despite my instructions not to, I ought to withdraw from the case. I want us to remain friends, but I can\u2019t represent you if you knowingly do things to jeopardize your position.\u201d<\/p>

Karen cast a pained look at Bobbie. \u201cWhat an irony,\u201d she said. \u201cIt was because of your wisdom that Alan and I had this conversation. Because of you we got together, opened up to each other, and discovered how much more important our marriage is than any kind of retribution for Edie\u2019s death. We have so much to thank you for. And here I am, full of hope born of that process you helped start, and I can\u2019t go ahead without losing you.\u201d<\/p>

Bobbie\u2019s expression softened as Karen spoke. Leaning toward her, elbows on the desk and chin resting on her fists, she said, \u201cMy dear friend \u2015 and you\u2019ll always be that \u2015 if what you\u2019re about to do will bring you peace of mind, then I\u2019m absolutely delighted to get out of my legal straitjacket so that I can cheer you on. Obviously you\u2019re willing to forgo a million-dollar verdict, or more. That can only be because you\u2019ve found something more valuable. Well, more power to both of you. Go ahead and meet with McCrae and hear him out. That\u2019s my advice as your friend. If you still want a lawyer after that, just tell me what happened. If not, then also tell me what happened!\u201d<\/p>

Karen looked at Bobbie with something approaching adoration. \u201cThank you, Bobbie, thank you. I don\u2019t know what I\u2019ve done to deserve you.\u201d She got up, kissed Bobbie\u2019s cheek, and practically ran from the office.<\/p>

That evening she called Josh and told him to bring Calvin over next day.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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Chapter 37 >><\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

PART III Karen closed the door of her office. She usually offered her clients coffee and directed them to the sofa. Now she treated herself to the same amenities and kicked off her shoes. Bobbie had talked \u201ccommon sense.\u201d Didn\u2019t that usually turn out to be the best way? She put her analytical powers to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":21,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-344","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/344","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=344"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/344\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":878,"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/344\/revisions\/878"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/21"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=344"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}