{"id":245,"date":"2016-09-05T09:39:04","date_gmt":"2016-09-05T13:39:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.herbheineman.com\/?page_id=245"},"modified":"2024-07-25T16:44:43","modified_gmt":"2024-07-25T20:44:43","slug":"chapter-17","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/edensgarden\/chapter-17\/","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 17: The Lesson"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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PART II<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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\u201cI had my checkup the week before last. I have a murmur.\u201d<\/p>

Josh caught his breath. \u201cWhy did you wait so long to tell me?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cPlease don\u2019t be mad.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019m sorry. Ever since you explained, I\u2019ve been scared that something would show up\u2014\u201d<\/p>

\u201cAnd I was getting more and more confident it wouldn\u2019t. You were right. Doctor Harmon had Doctor Becker, the cardiologist, examine me just to be sure. I only saw her this Wednesday. That\u2019s why I didn\u2019t say anything. It could have turned out to be nothing.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cSo now it\u2019s there,\u201d Josh said despondently. \u201cWhat\u2019s going to happen?\u201d<\/p>

She looked at him silently for a few seconds. \u201cIt matters to you, doesn\u2019t it?\u201d She put a hand on his. \u201cAm I being too sentimental?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThere\u2019s no such thing. And yes, I do care. Of course I care.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThey even had Dad listen, because they wanted him to hear for himself. I felt kind of sorry for him.\u201d She laughed at the recollection. \u201cHe has all kinds of qualms about seeing me undressed. I don\u2019t understand why; he\u2019s a doctor.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cFather-daughter stuff, I guess. He must have done a thousand exams if he\u2019s done one.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cMaybe that\u2019s it. Anyway, I think he heard the murmur too after a while \u2015 if he wasn\u2019t too flustered. I can hear it.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou can? Have you been listening to your heart all this time? I mean, to hear a murmur, don\u2019t you have to know how the heart sounds without one?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI asked Dad what to listen for, and he explained that there was a normal comparison built right in. Come on, I\u2019ll show you. We have to go some place real quiet, because if there\u2019s any noise we can\u2019t hear it. Dad\u2019s study is good, it\u2019s carpeted. I\u2019d say my room, but in case Mom suddenly appears, you know . . . \u201d With a merry laugh, she reached for his hand, just as she had done in the kitchen that January afternoon.<\/p>

Josh froze. Was she actually going to make him listen to her heart? When her own father, a doctor, had had a hard time?<\/p>

She sensed his resistance, and it amused her. \u201cCome on, it\u2019s not catching!\u201d She pushed him gently into the study and closed the door. He looked over his shoulder as if the last lifeboat had departed his sinking ship. The silence made his feeling of isolation total.<\/p>

\u201cSuppose your mother comes home.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019ll be able to hear the door. And for God\u2019s sake stop worrying! You\u2019re not afraid to be alone in a room with me, are you? I\u2019m a well-bred girl, you know!\u201d<\/p>

\u201cIt\u2019s not that,\u201d he said, wishing he could share her abandon. \u201cI don\u2019t want your parents to think they can\u2019t trust us.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNothing will happen. You\u2019ll see. Now I want you<\/em> to trust me<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>

He had no choice. She perched on the edge of her father\u2019s desk and told him to draw a chair up close. He sat facing her, about a foot lower. She was wearing a print cotton blouse buttoned up the front to an open collar. A gold pendant featuring a heart inside a circle rested on the blouse, its thin gold chain round her bare neck. His mouth was dry.<\/p>

She turned to reach for a stethoscope lying on the desktop behind her. The movement had the same effect as her reach for the books, only enhanced by the thinner texture of her blouse. With a supreme effort he retained his presence as she turned back. Here it comes, he thought.<\/p>

\u201cFirst, a mini-lesson,\u201d she said. \u201cLike you said, you have to hear normal sounds before you can hear the murmur. I could have you listen to your own heart, but you can do that another time. There are two valves that sound alike, pulmonic and aortic\u2014named after the arteries, of course. My pulmonic valve is normal, and we\u2019ll do that first. Ready?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cOK,\u201d he barely whispered. What was he supposed to do? A vision of an irate Mrs. Avery flashed before him, bursting in on a scene of lewdness masquerading as medical education. Get out of this house, and don\u2019t you ever come back!<\/em> He wished the whole thing were over.<\/p>

\u201cYou look as if you\u2019ve seen a ghost,\u201d Eden said. \u201cIt\u2019s just me. Are you OK?\u201d His look had betrayed him. And the worst was yet to come. And she was actually amused!<\/p>

\u201cI had this nightmare about your mother bursting in and throwing me out for good.\u201d<\/p>

Eden laughed. \u201cWas that it? She\u2019d never do that, she likes you too much.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYeah, but\u2014\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThere\u2019s \u2015 nothing \u2015 to \u2015 worry \u2015 about. I keep telling you. Now let\u2019s go.\u201d<\/p>

She slipped the head of the stethoscope into her blouse and held it against her chest. With her free hand she extended the earpieces to him. She did not open a single button.<\/p>

\u201cStick these in your ears and tell me what you hear.\u201d<\/p>

Because of the shortness of the connecting tubes, he had to pull up to the desk until his shoulder was level with her knee. He slid sideways to avoid contact. As he listened, his eyes grew wider as if controlled by a rheostat. \u201cIncredible! This is marvelous. I can\u2019t believe it.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI couldn\u2019t either, at first.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cHey, don\u2019t yell!\u201d he protested, laughing despite himself. \u201cI heard that through the stethoscope. Your voice coming out of your chest.\u201d He removed the earpieces. \u201cWhat a work of art! There\u2019s that fabulous machine pumping away day and night in every living human being since time began, and I bet at least ninety-five percent have never heard it.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNinety-nine point nine would be closer, if you ask me. But now you have to listen again and describe exactly what you hear.\u201d<\/p>

He reinserted the earpieces. \u201cWhat d\u2019you know! It\u2019s faster now. And wait! When you breathe in it speeds up, and when you breathe out it slows down. Is that right? Whisper!\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI didn\u2019t know that, but if that\u2019s what you hear it must be right. How about the sounds?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cSounds sort of like \u2018boom-bip, boom-bip, boom-bip.\u2019 \u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhich is louder, the boom or the bip?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThe bip.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou get an A. Keep up the good work. Now listen between<\/em> the booms and the bips.\u201d<\/p>

He concentrated for a long time. \u201cI hear you breathing. Funny, I hadn\u2019t paid attention to that before. Amazing how you don\u2019t hear things unless you focus on them. Fascinating! All that noise, and your brain can choose to tune in or out. Marvelous! But back to the valve.\u201d<\/p>

Another ten seconds. \u201cI think I hear a soft sound, rushing-like, between the boom and the bip. I could be imagining it. There\u2019s nothing between the bip and the next boom.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cExcellent!\u201d she whispered just a shade too loud for his comfort. He cringed. She cupped her mouth irrelevantly. \u201cWhat you heard is a murmur. Dad says it\u2019s normal, caused by blood rushing by every time the heart beats. Remember, you heard nothing after the bip. Now I\u2019m going to switch to the aortic valve.\u201d She moved the stethoscope. \u201cReady. Now listen again.\u201d<\/p>

This time he took even longer. \u201cThe \u2018boom\u2019 sounds the same. But the bip is not as loud. The murmur may be a shade louder, but I\u2019m not sure.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNothing between the bip and the next boom?\u201d<\/p>

He tried again. \u201cI don\u2019t hear anything. Should I?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cTake out the ear pieces. I\u2019m going to lean forward and breathe all the way out, and I want you to listen just for that one thing while I hold my breath out.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cHow does leaning forward and breathing out help?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cMakes the heart flop forward against the sternum, so it\u2019s closer to the stethoscope.\u201d<\/p>

Her heart rate slowed as she exhaled. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on every sound. On the third beat he heard it; after that it was there all the time. Then she had to take a breath.<\/p>

\u201cAbsolutely amazing!\u201d he said. \u201cI heard a real soft sound, like blowing on your finger. It started right with the bip but it faded out before the next boom. Your heart was so slow, I could hear the silence. Wow! Now I know why we had to have a quiet room.\u201d<\/p>

Eden removed the stethoscope from her chest and replaced it on the desk.<\/p>

\u201cIt\u2019s called aortic insufficiency,\u201d she said. \u201cThe pulmonic valve closes tight, so no blood flows back. The aortic valve leaks.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cAnd that\u2019s from the rheumatic fever?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYes. Now you know as much as I do.\u201d<\/p>

She came down from the desk and opened the study door. \u201cCome, let\u2019s sit in the living room. We\u2019ll be safer there.\u201d She flashed him a wicked smile.<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019m sorry I acted so scaredy-cat. I didn\u2019t know it could be done without undressing at least a little, and how would that have looked if your mom had walked in?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t have let you listen if I\u2019d had to undress. I told you I was a well-bred girl, but you didn\u2019t trust me, did you?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI apologize, honestly. I got nervous when you started talking about listening to your heart. Also, if you really want to know, it wasn\u2019t only your mother I was afraid of. I don\u2019t want us to be in that situation \u2015 for our own sakes. You know what I mean?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYes, I do. And you\u2019re right.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cBut just to complete my medical education, is that how they do heart exams in girls? I always have to strip off my shirt and the doctor listens lower down.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cOh no, girls\u2019 hearts are the same. Doctor Harmon makes me undress. They listen for the other valves under the breast. The heart has four, you know. But my lower ones are OK.\u201d<\/p>

Josh dwelled but a moment on that image. There was a more pressing issue to deal with.<\/p>

\u201cOther than knowing, how does this change your life?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNot at all. I can do whatever I like. But they\u2019ll be watching me extra close now. Oh, there is one new thing. If I go to the dentist I have to get extra penicillin to keep the bacteria out of my blood. That\u2019s to keep the valve from getting infected.\u201d<\/p>

The first part of her answer came as a relief. He didn\u2019t know what to make of the second.<\/p>

\u201cI didn\u2019t know bacteria got into the blood when the dentist pokes around in your mouth.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cOne more shot once in a while won\u2019t bother me. I already get one every month.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhere do you get all those shots?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou mean, who gives them, at whose place\u00a0\u2014 that way?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNo, I meant, do you get them in the arm, like tetanus shots?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cOh, you mean which part of me. In my rear end.\u201d<\/p>

Again Josh had a disturbing mental image. \u201cYou must look like a pincushion.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, there\u2019s lots of room, lots of it.\u201d<\/p>

It was time to change subjects. \u201cBy the way, I\u2019ve been accepted at Cornell.\u201d<\/p>

Suddenly the life went out of Eden\u2019s face. She held her breath, looked at him, swallowed, and tried to contain the twitch round her mouth. Then, too quietly, she said:<\/p>

\u201cThat\u2019s wonderful. Ivy League. Congratulations. Are you going?\u201d<\/p>

He felt he owed it to her to maintain eye contact, although he\u2019d rather have looked away.<\/p>

\u201cIf I don\u2019t, my folks\u2019ll want to know why. It\u2019s the best place I applied to. They say it\u2019s good to live on campus. Dad went to a commuter college. He missed out on the social life.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cIs that how you feel too?\u201d she asked.<\/p>

\u201cI don\u2019t know. It\u2019s an important decision and I want to make the right one. Six months ago I wouldn\u2019t have hesitated for a moment.\u201d<\/p>

She took a deep breath. \u201cThen don\u2019t now.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cDon\u2019t go?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cDon\u2019t hesitate. Look, Josh, we don\u2019t have to play games. I\u2019m going to miss you, I can\u2019t begin to tell you how much; and I know you\u2019ll miss me. But when you think about it\u2014\u201d<\/p>

\u201cIt\u2019s hard.\u201d<\/p>

\u201c\u2014it\u2019s straightforward. We\u2019re both pretty young, especially me. We don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen. Imagine you settle for second best just so we can be in the same city. Years from now, if we\u2019re still seeing each other, I\u2019ll feel guilty for standing in your way. If we\u2019re not, you\u2019ll be mad at me for the same reason.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cGod, you make it sound so easy.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI didn\u2019t say it was easy to do, it\u2019s the decision that\u2019s easy. Your education comes first.\u201d<\/p>

He looked at her admiringly. \u201cWhy is it that my brain\u2019s all fogged up, and you see things so clearly?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cBecause,\u201d she answered slowly, getting up and walking toward him, \u201cI\u2019m a girl.\u201d<\/p>

At that moment Karen entered the front door. Seeing Eden and Josh in the living room, she invited him to stay for dinner.<\/p>

\u201cI wish I could, but we\u2019re having company and I have to put in a command appearance.\u201d<\/p>

Karen saw him out with a friendly smile. Turning to Eden after he had left, she asked:<\/p>

\u201cHow was Death of a Salesman?\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cGood. I told Josh about the heart murmur. Now he\u2019s more worried than I am.\u201d<\/p>

Karen averted her eyes for a moment. \u201cI think he\u2019s fond of you, Edie.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cAn old friend of the family.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cHe\u2019s a good boy, but don\u2019t get too involved.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhat\u2019s \u2018too involved,\u2019 Mom,\u201d Eden asked with irritation. \u201cOther girls my age have boyfriends. What do you think we do?\u201d<\/em><\/p>

\u201cKnowing you both, I\u2019m sure you\u2019re not doing anything you shouldn\u2019t. I just don\u2019t want you to commit yourself so young. You have your whole life ahead of you, and you have your career to think about. Juggling that with a family isn\u2019t as easy as it sounds.\u201d<\/p>

No sooner had she said this than she realized how silly she sounded. Eden\u2019s only sixteen, she reminded herself, and not about to commit herself to anything. She still has two years of high school, and Josh\u2019ll be off at college. However, Karen also knew the source of her exaggerated concern \u2015 and she felt some justification. What if she was overreacting? The substance of her concern was valid. Her own history was proof.<\/p>

Eden knew nothing about her mother\u2019s inner struggle. \u201cDon\u2019t worry about my career, Mom. I don\u2019t know what that\u2019s going to be. And as regards a family, I sort of like the idea.\u201d<\/p>

She excused herself, went to her room, closed the door softly, and lay down on her bed. For half a minute or so she stared unseeing at the ceiling. Then she closed her eyes and wept angry tears.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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<< Chapter 16<\/a><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Chapter 18 >><\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

PART II \u201cI had my checkup the week before last. I have a murmur.\u201d Josh caught his breath. \u201cWhy did you wait so long to tell me?\u201d \u201cPlease don\u2019t be mad.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m sorry. Ever since you explained, I\u2019ve been scared that something would show up\u2014\u201d \u201cAnd I was getting more and more confident it wouldn\u2019t. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":21,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-245","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/245","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=245"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/245\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":786,"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/245\/revisions\/786"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/21"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herbheineman.com\/Eden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=245"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}